Hey I'm back!!!Wee!!Thank god!! I found that i will never survive living in JB if ever my parent decide to migrate there....Here wat happen......

First of all....Isnaini live in kampung...its fine wif me......i dun mind....rij der..eat...the food is delicious....yeah all boyanese food.....(dis is really a boyanese kinda wedding). We rij der at 10am...can u believe it?we r the first guest Cause my family wanted to avoid the traffic jam at causeway....

After dat jus sit ard in the house....after 2 hrs in it....i feel like a BBQ chicken!!! gggrrr.....I mish my room.....it make all of us so grouchy and tired....the weather was really hot today...got lotsa mat at the kampung...i dunno why they look at girls like as if they are alien....sheesh...it really make me so uncomfortable...ok so watever....one thing i realize Boyanese actually quite dark...i wonder why my whole family fair??still cant explain till now...but anw Isnaini look really pretty today...and the husband also not bad la....quite good looking....but still i tink she is too young to get married...hehe....after a quick snapshot togeder....all of us proceed to GIANT

Smth happen along the way to GIANT... A lot of miscommnunication happen (lets skip this part)....so when we finally rij der....ate then shop for groceries.....bought 6 VCD today...yesh AED!! i bought the hindustan VCD Kal Ho Naa Ho....Gonna watch later...canit wait.......

Proceed home....FINALLY.....so exhausted.....but hey i saw a lot of cute CISCO guys at the check pt.....*wink* Gatalnye aku....but hey got one really cute sia...yeah he check my car.....Smile at him and he smile back.....huahahhaa

I tink i am gog to give sch a miss tmr....hhhmm see la if i can get all the 5 chp into my brain...ahakz! If not too bad....maybe going to the carnival at civic ctr tmr....whoa i am aiming one of the ride....its smth like a ball and it bounce up and down....whoa...so exciting rite?hhhmm

Maybe i am going BALI in August!!!YIPPIE!!!Wif my aunt, her colleagues and her twin.....oh i cant wait for it....will try to pay everything by myself....I dun care i'm gog for it.....it will be fun fun fun....with my aunt ard, BALI will be an exciting trip for me....

Oh yeah CONGRATULATION to Seda!!She make it to the second interview for the EMIRATES.....whoa so happy for her....I know she will make it....I have a lot of confidence in her....You go girl!! But sad to hear that my colleague Lina didnt make it to the second interview....try again ok girl...dun give up....

Wanna watch the Kal Ho Naa Ho....will put up the pictures tmr ...lazy to upload...good nite

*Guys sucks....but we can't live without them...why huh??*

I wasted my whole satudurday working....hehe.....but it was fun la...its actually my last day at work today at NESS/GG5......surprised??? Yeah i sort of stop for a while la...cos i cant really work wen they need me becos of school and religious class......so i let one job go but still keep the other one....gonna mish Xiowen, Dhora and FAezah.....great bunch of peeps to work with....but will be visiting dem whenever i am at cozway pt...*smilez*

Went to pasar malam for a while near cozway pt with faezah.....FAezah was really making me embarassed.....we were actually standing near the some kind like the ubat2 melayu.....they sell oil which they called "love oil", "working oil" and bla bla bla...then got this like a few strand of hair inside a small plastic...and it is call "ubat kekasih","ubat perindu"....FAezah was making comment like "Hey we must eat this hair la then kita rindu orang tu?" "abeh ni love oil aku campak kat admirer aku boleh tak?".......ggggrrr i was like "shut up la faezah...how the hell i noe sia".......SO embarrassing....those abg2 was looking at us one kind.....hahah.....i quickly pull faezah and get out from there.....i hate this kinda thing....i dun believe all those shit.....hahahaha......Gonna mish werking with FAezah...she is a very bubbly gerl.....very matured for a 17 yrs old gal.....how i wish i got her eyes....she really look a bit like Ayumi Hamasaki.....pretty rite??

Got a test on monday....but hey i haven even start.....and tmr i'm gog to JB wif my relatives and family....wee!!So happy...at last i get the hell out of SPORE...and i dun tink i gonna study for the test....its not counted anw....blueekkk!!

*Am i starting to hate him?Oh boy, i wish i'm not cos i dun want to hate anyone...but he starting to get irritating....keep giving me msgs of life and reality and fantasy...crap....I wish he stop...cos my ans will be jus plain and simple WATEVER...*

First of all CONGRATULATION to my dear brother on his 'O' level result.......He passed with 13 points....I knew he will get 13 points...haha...so proud of him....hope he finally make up his mind to go to which course.....But i had rather he go JC...oh well his choice.....

Went to watch "Something gotta give" with nadiah jus now....felt lonely at home so i ask her out......this is sucks man....why am i keep feeling lonely? Nvm at least the movie did make me laff....hehe....its a funny movie....i loike it....der are a lot more movie i wanna watch....I gonna be broke....oh might as well....there are nothing to look forward to anw not even my bday....

Hey why am i keep feeling unhappy...this is jus not me sia......I was known for being patience when thing nvr come my way.....but why am i feeling this way....this is sux.....hhhmm i guess life is complicated and so unpredictable....have to live with it....sometime being nice to people doesnt help at all.....they take my kindness for granted....i dunno what i have done to deserve people like this....i dunno where i get all the patience in the world to go thru this certain tough time of my life......sometime people dun deserve to be treated nice.....but its jus me....i am too soft hearted....i forgive easily and never hold any grudges....so is it a good thing?? I guess so

hhmm maybe i shd continue reading my sidney shieldon book "master of the game"....I love the book.....keep me glued to the book for hours .....once i stop i cant stop....that is bad....good morning peeps.....
I guess my love is dying...maybe i will never learn to love again

10 things I hate about RIDZWAN!!
(taken from 10 things i hate abt you...hehe....i like this poem)

I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry,

I hate it when you’re not around,

and the fact that you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.


I am so exhausted...i dunno why and wat makes me exhausted....meet nadiah yest after school....went home and i went to bed straight away...

Already hand in my whole assignment yest...and my teacher is so happy.....cos i am the only one who print the report out with the chart and survey....sheesh.....i tot i was supposed to....watever la.....he even showed to the whole class my report....paiseh sia....my teacher is so easy to please..haha...

I think 'he' is getting irritated cos my sms is getting shorter and shorter....watever la....how can he expect me to talk to him if i got any problem when my problem is HIM!!! Watever ...as long as he happy with that GERL!!! BAH!GET LOST!!

Oh i am so addicted to "hey Mama" by Black eyed peas....hehe....make me wanna dance to the rythem..

Went to work yesterday....so bored.....finish at 9pm...walked slowly to the interchange and suddenly i feel so lonely and it scared the hell outta me.....the loneliness inside me was so strong that i nearly cry.....and suddenly i mish him so much.....I msg Inda cos i need someone to talk to.....she told me to relax and jus continue to ignore him....i have tried and i failed.....no doubt i still love him...

Tried very hard to focus on my assignment....at last i did...and i forgot abt him....my assignment made me so stressed that in the end i did not finish it up...hehe.....i went to sleep.....

Work sux big time....i hate working with madi.....i am so mad at him that i dun talk to him the whole of lunch time.....I feel like walking out the store and leave.....maybe i shd do dat next time huh?wat do u tink? *grin*

I kinda hate my hair colour now...maybe shd change colour again.....Brown?...ok ok inda i wont waste anymore money on my hair aiite........can't wait to let it grow like last yr....oh how i mish my long hair....or maybe i shd perm it.....how eh? *smilez*

Hmmm i got this crazy idea of joining back Teratai.....kwa kwa kwa .....lame rite.....DK at this age? Hmmm.....mish the old girls....but they aint coming back....haiz......still remember those days of trying very hard to memorise the Karut lyric....and we were tortured by kak Fazilah....she was damn strict.....and the most disappointing day was the day when we lose to Wahana Deksu.....and that day was 30th March (its my bday!!)...gosh wat a bday ......I share the same bday as Shidah....and we were beaten up by the girls....idiot!!Sakit siol!!Nadiah gave me a g-string....huahaha....I loike G-string!!

I guess have to return to my assignments.....I think bus comm is crap...my teacher like to talk nonsense in class.....and all i know is that i keep laffing thru out the lesson.....wats that suppose to mean? i guess i jus have to crap la my report....duh

Its SUNDAY!!!! And damn i have to work....watever....

Jufri called me again at 3 am....kinda frustrating talking to him....he never change...he got no aim in life...i feel like knocking his bloody head...it make me sad for a person i used to love with all my heart is becoming like a useless guy......no matter what I will always pray that he changed for the better...InsyaAllah....

Here are some pictures i took at Heeren...huaha...yeah the place where the mats and minahz lepakz .....sux man....dunno why we sit there.....

For the pictures click HERE

Jus got back from town...watched Along came Polly wif Inda...a hilarious movie i must say but i hate the character "lisa"....wat a bitch.....went off with another guy on her honeymoon then came back asking for another chance....yikes!If i have a husband like dat...i will freak out and become crazy sia.....so unpredictable.....

Juz as i expected HE msg me again...this time at 4.30am.....he working night shift...and as usual i ignore it...got the urge to reply but nah i dun.....eventho i missing him like crazy.....

I wanna watch "honey".....GOt Jessica Alba!!!anyone wanna go with me???

cant believe i am home so early on a saturday....weird....but on the brighter side....today is "muharram" so its better i stay at home....hehe....yesh me going for the forum thingy abt rumahtannga, bertunang dan kekasih on 6th march...wif 2 of my best sistas....haha sue and inda....and of cos Zaidi....Cant wait for sue and zaidi to get married...kekez.....From the title i found that the forum will be an interesting one...hey of cos i am not thinking of marriage yet la.....duh....

SELAMAT TAHUN BARU!!!

School was fine jus now...my teacher is happy with all my assignments....and he told me to set an impossible goal that i wanna achieve........and he said he believe i can make it...wow!His words really motivate me to work harder....no teachers ever said that to me...i am touched...Thanks Mr Edwin TAn....u the best teacher ard...

met afni and Shida jus now....hang ard at town...ate at cahaya....yucks....Cahaya food is getting from bad to worse....sux man...then my cuzin..actually my uncle la...(kalau ikut pangkat) came and join us...hang ard at starbucks at orchard building...

I guess i am more bad tempered nowadays......i have to learn to keep my cool....been rather nasty to nash...i tink he got fed up with me. I am sorry! I just follow my heart and never use my brain sometime....told Is to leave me alone.....been ignoring shahmir too....i tink i am giving up on guys...that is really bad......how eh?

got a new assignment again today......a harder one.....have to do survey, charts and report....i tink i am going crazy.....my printer no ink......and i hate doing report on annual sales bla bla bla.....

Still haven finish my assignment....i slept last nite...haha...tried to finish off jus now but no idea come into my head....brain dead i guess...hehe....have to write a report on sale of washing machine...wat the hell....i dun even use the washing machine at home...hhmm hate writing this kinda report.....

I guess i wanna have my breakfast at Macdonald again......as usual no food at home...i have been eating big mac for the last five days...addicted to it seh....nvm i wanna regain back my weight that i have lost...hehe...morning peeps.....have a great day

Was at Masjid Al-iman jus now when i received 1 msg from "him" again.....I dunno how to react...not even sure how i feel.....angry?disappointed?happy?.....been ignoring his msgs for the last few days...but jus now i jus wish he disappeared from my life....wish he dun bother to msg me again...my tears nearly flow down my cheek jus now but i tried so hard to stop it from flowing...I am trying very hard to forget him...and to mend my broken heart...& to stop venting my anger on someone else who trying to be nice to me....

Why shd i cry?It made me sad each time i remember how he treat me.....how he changed...his words...made me happy when i tot of our happy moments.....People may said to me "nurul, stop tinking of that jerk....be thankful its only a while.." Its not a matter of how long....it a matter of how much is in it

Learn smth new jus now ...i really like listening to this ustaz syarahan...yeah the same one as masjid mydin....i guess i hv to finish off my assignment...hv to hand in tmr...haiz...good nite....

Had so much fun jus now...met up with afni...went to Guess? to choose the watch so that afni's dad can get it for me....wee!! I got 40% off....dat mean i only paid less than 70 bucks for the watch....and i if i wanna buy the clothes can get 40% off too and can get on the spot.....so happy man...ask afni and salihin for a Guess? 3/4 jeans on ma bday....*wink* eee tak tau malu tul....haha....afta dat "lepak" at Forum Macdonald ....eat and talk talk talk....lurve talking to her....she is fun....but i ate a lot today...gosh....oh great i need that extra KG anw

was so tired yest....do rebonding again cos the first one turn out reli sux...so they re-do for me....for FREE of cos....turn out that the lotion they applied was too mild for me cause i bleach my hair....duh!!They supposed to know wat! But they comment that my hair texture very good and healthy.....despite colouring it a lot of time.....hehe....again that jufri woke me up....called me at weird hours.....entertain his nonsense for a while but with my eyes closed...hahaha....

Went for my first practical yest.....I was so bloody happy seh..dunno why.....jus becos i drove a car on my first lesson...i can drive!!!! can drive bend too.....i tink driving is so tiring la.....my left leg so tired seh...because have to step on the clutch for so long...maybe my leg too short ah....haha....I tink my instructor got fed up cos i step on the brake too fast and make the car jerk...huahah....but i have a lot of fun on my first lesson...looking forward for the next lesson....*smilez*

So disappointed on sunday have to work!! I hate my sales work....damn!They jus cant make up their mind.....keep changing the schedule....so fed up! and so my sunday plan is ruined!Cant go to kak rahimah house to see EVA.....sorry kak ayu...next time ya....

Mishing "him"......haiz.....

Morning....still up doing my assignment la.....and also jus finish talking on the phone with siraj...feel good after talking to him....so now i noe who the real Ridzwan is.....haha I tink he is a guy full of EGO...always tink he is the one who is rite....and siraj also tink so...i am surprised....so that is why i always in the wrong cos he always tink he is rite....like a girl but keep denying it.....full of pretence....and i dun tink i deserve a guy like dat....and i dun tink i shd cry for a guy like dat.....cause i already done my part ...told him lotsa time if he want to be with that gerl go ahead.....but he still hang on to our relationship....am i not understanding enuff here? talk abt the gerl day and nite to me.....and i still hear it with lotsa patience...cant bear to tell the gerl he is attach with me but i still keep my cool.......so wassup with the overwhelming jealousy??Excuses! But hey i believe in this Wat goes around comes around I have enuff of this shit....I feel like hating him all my life....but no its not rite to hate a person.....i was taught not to hate a person and to always forgive a person.....and so i forgive him for watever he had done dat had hurt me so much......even tho he dun realize it....i dun blame the gerl cos she dunno abt us...but i am disappointed with the way he handle the situation....haiz....

anyway siraj if u reading this...thanx ya for telling me all that i need to noe abt Ridzwan....I tink whoever next be with him shd be a person with a lot of patience really a lot.....ahakz!for now all i can said to him is .........*sing* shut up jus shut up shut up..........

Episod cinta (Boboy)

Mengapa ada dusta
Tika cinta melanda sukma
Tika setia diombak resah
Masihkah ada bahagia

Mengapa ada dia
Tika rindu padamu saja
Tika restu untukmu jua
Akhirnya aku yang merana

Mengapakah aku diluka
Derita kerana sebuah cinta
Yang sekian lama kita bina
Inikah sumpah setiamu
Terhadapku setia selalu
Ke akhir hayatmu
Ternyata palsu

( korus )
Kuterima semua ini
Sudah kehendak takdir Ilahi
Berakhirlah semua kini
Episod cinta ini...
Menjadi sebuah memori

Dan jangan ada benci
Tika kesal menggamit hati
Tika segan menyentuh jiwa
Anggaplah lumrah dunia

I dun type lyric here for nothing...haha...this lyric got a lot of meaning to it....and been listening to it the whole day....hhhmm....

today school was fun!!wee!! Cause me learning business communication...easy la the subject..write letters bla bla bla....i had learn all those in ITE.....used to sleep in business comm class rite YUTA???and i mean the whole class!!!huahah.....but i prefer to type letters than write....hhmm i mish word processing...and our teacher from hell mdm rajes....haha still remember how me and lyana gave her a hard time in school by always skipping school and our coloured hair....and always in trouble with our HOD too...during our first yr we even placed a big stone on one of our classmate bag....cant believe she ran home with the stone...gosh!! we are so notty seh!!!YUTA dun be so innocent there k...huahaha....lepak....i mish my ITE fwens!!!1SC1 rox!! the class from hell......

Was so tired yest....i slept after solat maghrib...haha....was woken up when Jufri called.....damn him.....again he was ard my area....cause his best fren live ard here....asked me out to JB but i said no .....giler.....never trust mat motor eventho i know him for like 5 yrs.....

meeting shida later...borrowing a shoe from her...cause tmr my practical....search for shoe jus now but cant seem to find one that i like...haiya!! cant i jus wear a sandal!!!

yeyeye!!i got lotsa plan for the weekend and lotsa time....so happy....anybody wanna ask me out on sat??....all my plans not confirm yet...haiz...sat maybe go out with inda or ma cuzin and his gerl...sun go masjid darusalam for the muharram thingy....afta dat maybe go to kak rahimah house to c eva....dat depend if my parent go...haiz...sianz how eh???next week my relative at JB is getting married...she only 19 for goodness sake!!gosh ni la org boyan....da takde keje...kasi anak kahwin siang2......i am glad my mum never do dat...if not i rather kill myself....hah....

My oh my the entry is getting longer...better stop blabbering now....so typical of me...once i talk i can never stop....but all i talk is jus crap....so thanks for reading or listening to me!!hehehe.....

damn! still cant sleep...chat with Inda and siraj on MSN......their words kinda calm me down a bit...and reading Inda blog I find wat she said is true....I guess this is my dugaan......I lost my pillar of strength and I tink ALLAH want to see whether i can stand on my own.....*smilez*

Got this from inda blog.....

If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much... Just be glad that your paths crossed and; somehow he made you happy even for a while.

Bottom-line :Time will tell. If he's yours he will surely come back.

Maybe i shd try revise some of my work....or maybe read my Sidney shieldon book...hhhmm which one eh......????

Juz got back from masjid Mydin.....I lurve every min of it......and it make me cry when he said "org yg dulu minum arak, berzina, berjudi dan buat perkara yg melanggar agama dan skarang dia sudah bertaubat......dan dia dtg ke sini insyaAllah dia akan diampunkan ....kerana Allah itu maha penyanyang lagi maha pengasih"...."dan bila seseorang itu ingin berubah byk dugaan dan cubaan yg akan dialami"It really hit me on the spot....when he said all dat...I cried because i regret what i have done and maybe this is one of the dugaan that he gave me....... Begitu sayang nye Allah kepada umatnya....And again i keep staring at the book....my mind seem far away....maybe in london jus now....hahaha.....haiz...

Can somebody jus hit my head and make me wake up!! Knock some sense into my bloody empty head.....I keep telling myself to stop tinking of it.....keep telling myself he is not the only guy in the world.......keep telling myself he jus not worth it.....like what Inda mum said...."kita org perempuan tak rugi apa2 kalau kita mengalah....lelaki ini semua ikut ego mereka....satu hari nanti mereka akan berfikir"...guess its true..."I'VE NEVER BEEN A QUITTER BUT I DO DESERVE BETTER"love that phrase...hehe

I guess i want to sleep....to run away from my problem....seeing my hp make me more sad....my inbox is so full of his msgs...and i dunno how to delete....so i jus let it be there....

THE FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I had
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest
When it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst

The first cut is the deepest baby i know
The first cut is the deepest try to love again...


I guess its OVER!! ITs OVER between me and him!!

Juz got back home from town....hang out with salihin,Afni and sedah...sit ard at coffeebean@forum till 11.30pm......I wish i dun need to go home....i am scared of being alone....cos everything will come back again...and make me sad...I was laffing my head off jus now hanging out with them and kucing's bro...he is one damn farnie guy....make my day man....hehe...

I was at kallang jus now with sedah when i feel that the world came tumbling down....when i see the bridge i tink of him...so we went to bugis....but hell no....bugis is jus the same...too many memories.....ate but cant finish...went to town meet up with salihin and afni...accompany them ate at PUNCAK...they keep asking me wats wrong wats wrong....i jus dun feel like talking actually....its only till we reach coffeebean that i let everything out....they advise me a lot....salihin was always there everytime i go thru a breakup....he always there listening and never stop advising me.....he told me not to look down on myself cos there are always guys out there who love me....but its jus that i dunno of....but sorry cousin i am shutting all doors....am not getting involve in a relationship anymore.....

I am so tired of getting hurt again and again....i cant go on living like this....I put in effort in every relationship but they jus throw it away like that....maybe i shd jus remain single so i dun need to feel jealous,hurt,pain,disappointment....EVERYTHING.....and i am not afraid of being ANDARTU....so be it....i dun care.....I dun need a guy beside me cos i tink i can stand alone...

But i still not sure how i am going to go thru each day alone....w/o him beside me....he have been my motivator and my pillar of strength all this while....but i lost that....I keep staring into blank spaces every minute when i am alone.....my cuzin said i am crazy...hehe keep smiling when he told me to stop staring.....i know i am smiling to hide all my sorrow and sadness that i feel...I dun want people to feel pity for me....eventho i know i am not strong enuff and that i can jus break down and cry whenever i tink of it......But can i ever try to love someone again jus like that song...hhhmm

I feel like running away....away from here....i wanna finish up my diploma....and further my studies somewhere....maybe join lyana at melbourne....that will be great....haiz i wanna get at least a degree but seem like my mum want me to work...hhhmm...

anw guys pls click on my foto album to see the latest pic or rather my disappoinment hair...fotopages are giving me problem......hehe...enjoy..

oh yeah great!!My rebond hair reli sux man.....my hair is wavy again.....called up the shop and they told me come back tmr at 3pm......yeah rite thanks for wasting my bloody time!!! Fed up seh!!

ok lets re-cap wat i have done the last few days...hhmmm

WED
After school went to Tampines to meet up with sue and Inda...have dinner and pass the present to sue...she better take good care of that brooch....hehehe....cause its very nice and expensive.....HAPPY 21st BDAY SUE!!! *hugz*

THURS:
After school meet up with the "LADEES" Freon and Trina.....as usual Trina shop again...hehe this time shop for her brother....But i love her nike shoe!!! I tink i wanna buy...hhhmmm *thinking* We went from orchard to suntec cause have to pick up Trina's bro shoe at suntec "y pay more".....on the way to suntec i felt like i am in a school driving car....with freon as the instuctor...haha lepakz!!Maybe that is how i am going to drive with an instructor beside....and finally I headed to LK!!! haha nice place....Very nice ambience i must say....snap and snap pictures like nobody business...haha....even my chicken chop become their victim....ended up it turn cold..but it still not bad....i like the coleslaw!!!very nice.....yummy!!But have to rush home before Trina even reach LK with her mom and sis....sorry trina.....hehhe....

FRI:
After work at 2pm , go home, bathed and went to PS to watch TORQUE!!waste money sia.....stupid show...crap.....prefer my 2 fast 2 furious......While watching the movie...my hp keep vibrating....lotsa msgs.....and my ex JUFRI called me......asking me where am i.....hahah.....He actually called me up in the morning...i was initially shocked....after so long of MIA now he back....he still the same like before la....with his bike and bike frens....nonsense la.....i hate mat motor.......guess i was at the same time happy la cause i have been feeling pretty lonely and down this few days.....talking to him kind of bring my smile back...hehe...he is a farnie guy....that is like the only thing i like abt him....ahakz!!But as usual he will come and go....he have been doing that so often i tink i already used to his attitude....and baby actually tot he want me back.....NO!! even if he want me back i will not.......he had hurt me enough.....i have been treating him like a good fren for years now.....he called me up again at 4.30am in the morning...WTF.....he was actually ard my area with his bike frens....yucks!i hate his frens......i find them such an asshole.....

Met up with sedah too......the bday gal!! HAPPPY 21st BDAY SEDAH!!!....spent time eating at lido...ate pizza hut...i tink i find eating at PIZZA HUT the restaurant itself is better.....in terms of quality.....as usual la cannot finish.....then sedah best fren JUSTIN came and join us....wah!he is cute man!!damn cute! Like keanu reeve but chinese version....hehe.....too bad la he is chinese.....not interested....walk walk at town aimlessly...and suddenly i find myself so exhausted really exhausted i tell u.....sorry sedah i tink i was being such a spoilsport....i felt like my brain is dead,heart is dead,my body was aching like crazy......wat i wanna do at that time was to sleep....so we headed home......will make it up to u someday k sedah....sorry babe....

SAT:
yes today!!dunno wat to do....hhhmm now getting ready to go to BBDC to do my PDL....then went to meet AS at westmall delifrance to give her bday present.....guess i jus gonna lepak there la.....if sedah can get the tix to MTV music award i guess i will go for it........yeah la why must i shut myself up at home and make myself miserable altho i have stop tinking of wat will happen next....i am tired so tired to tink anymore....BABY resting at home......and JUFRI gog to JB......town will be like sardine with all those dove birds ard....wat the hell this KAFIR celebrating.....crap....guess have to rush now before the bbdc tp counter shut their counter.....

will post pictures soon.....maybe tonight.....*so brother do u hear me....i wanna use the comp tonite k....thanks..* haha....enjoy yr weekend guys....

Jus reach home....went for rebonding jus now....so tired...i fall asleep while they rebond my hair...haha...so hungry but i cant eat....so frustrating.....i can't finish my food without thinking of baby....and ended up i cant finish the food....

Feel like a walking zombie every freaking days....i dun see the point of going to school and work with so much hurt and pain bottled up inside...i jus feel like burying myself under my blanket everyday and every second.....I feel like i am losing him eventho we are still together....feel like giving up but deep inside me telling me to go on and believe in it......but it hurting me like crazy....Living in this strange world is full of up and down....haiz...*patience.....patience....patience*

Let's see who have been in touch with me....

My ex Is msg me....and from wat i heard i tink he having problem with his girlfriend ...watever..i dun care.....nothing to do with me....i cant even solve my own problem i dun tink i want to care for other people's problem

My sec sch classmte Ibrahim msg me.........I tink he is MAD!! He is not the same anymore.....not the religious type anymore...so disappointed ....he seem to be like a sex maniac to me.....and even keep asking me to meet him to do '"stuff".....wtf ......oh please....feel like kicking his ass sia.....

Met up with inda yest after work....watched "cheaper by the dozen"...great movie.....oh my tom welling......so cuteeeeeeee!!!....actually overall the movie is great la....i lurve it...very family kinda movie....cant imagine myself having a dozen kids.....gosh!! dats too many....

anw guys thanks for the tags.....i wish i have all the time in the world to tag u guys back but dun worry i will soon k.....*hugz* tata....need to sleep school start tmr....haiz....

here some pictures taken at the chalet...hehe..i look so tired seh.....went there after work....so tired...Myra Atikah and Myra Afiqah 6th years old bday party and NTUC chalet....ehehe


"kakak" wif her pwesents

"adek" wif her pwesents

me and afni

guess thats all for now....i am so sleepy...*yawn*.....nite

Good morning!!haha.....I feel better than yest morning....hehe...well it was great going to Masjid Mydin.....the Ustadz was very humourous.....hehe....but there was actually a part that my tears nearly flow down my cheek.......And it make me start thinking wat i have done before and i have been wasting my bloody time doing stupid things ....mixing with the bad company........bla bla bla......and the list go on.....well looking at the brighter side....i am glad that i choose to change and baby is the one that have been knocking some sense into me.....always reminding me.......and i really appreciate him with all my heart and soul *hugz*

Hmmm for now "SHE" is starting to sms baby back.......Yeah afta wat "SHE" have done to him making him like a punching bag and now "SHE" is back........msging him and all.....of cos i am jealous...which gerl dun........haiz....dunno what her intention is ....maybe as a fren maybe wanna get the feeling back? ...........but whatever it is i jus leave everything to ALLAH......I have never asked baby whether "SHE" contact him back but i know everything on my own.........The Greatness of ALLAH.....I guess this is how HE wanna show to me .......

*tink positive**Tink positive*

Shke it, shake it like a Poloroid Picture, shake it, shake it
Shh you got to, shake it, shh shake it, shake it, got to shake it
(Shake it Suga') shake it like a Poloroid Picture.......wee still in love wif this song.!!hehe

I woke up at 6am today....thanks to my stupid cousin who sleep wif his hp and he actually accidentally called me....then baby msg me good morning...till i said ok enuff thanks for all those wake up call.....got up and solat subuh....and i cant sleep...so frustrating....i am feeling so down this week which i dunno why....sometime i jus feel isnt it better if i jus die on the way to school or work......I am so tired physically and mentally....and my brain seem like its not functioning properly......wat the hell going on!!!

My cuzin actually shocked to see me so thin......he said that i look like an anorexic patient!!he and his gf asked me..."hey. what happen to u?" and "hey where yr ass go? Pls eat more la....do u noe my members like to "cui" at yr ass?" What the hell "cui" at ass...aarrgghh kurang ajar......huahaha oh well wat can i say......i cant eat i cant sleep well..........what the f*** is going on with me.........sometime i feel like breaking down.And i actually talk with my cuzin and his gf yesterday at the chalet.....I think i'm always a failure in relationship.......i feel that no one will ever love as much as i luv them..no one value me as much as i value them......i am so sick of guys that even the most handsome guy stand in front of me...i jus cant be bothered by his presence.......why why must we fall in love!! I jus wish i dun have a heart .....guess my life will be much peaceful without all this JANTAN JANTAN who come into my life break my heart and leave me jus like that...... I am not a doll for god sake....i do have feeling you know....why must i always suffer the heartbreak.....why???

I tink i am going insane day by day thinking abt this relationship......haiz......i wish i have the strength to live each day with a smile on my face....to be able to wake up with a smile ......to sleep peacefully..........to be able to stop my tears from flowing.........i wish for all that ......the simple thing in life.....but it seem the hardest thing in my life right now.......

I have to go now.....i feeling like shit early on sunday morning....need smth to perk me up......but WHAT!!!tell me what! haiz...meeting inda at kembangan at 945am going to Masjid Maidin for the Kelas Menghalusi Solat......and i tink i am late....watever la....will tag u guys later when i got home ya.....have a great sunday......

Went to work today 8am-3pm.....skip the last lesson today...ahakz! Boring la revision...and have to register oredi for my exam....EXAM!!aargghh i hate that word...i am so scared of failing again....have to start revising now...left with 1 module ....maybe i will have depression soon....too stressed out with lotsa thing....but i still go on everyday with a smile on my face...eventho i am crying inside..

hhmm i guess most of my regular customers mish me...aaww so sweet...cos i have been missing for weeks...haha.....but jus now got 1 farking customer...ang moh again...damn it!!hate his face sia....he ask for small latte but keep insisting on paying for medium Americano...wat the F***!!Can't u read the price on the menu!!!and he keep saying "fark u guys...i dun care...fark it..."......duh wat is dat??eeee geram nye aku!!! But nvm i still got time to take a photo using mickey new hp....haha



its been like 1 week plus dat i haven meet up with baby....haiz...mish him like crazy...
but watever me meeting baby tmr...hehe...*jumping jumping*cant wait to see him but the problem is still haven decide the venue....hhmm but before meeting him have to go BBDC to make my PDL and also top up my account cos my mummy sponsor some money....hehe...hope to book another slot tmr...

I know its a bit late to update..been very bz..hehe...well my hari raya haji was actually spent at my grandmama house@AMK....watch tv the whole time and keep snapping pictures of my baby cuzin Nisa Adani...and gez wat her bday is on 31st march...jus one day after mine...aaaww *hugz dani* here some of the pic i took....


She finally smile!!

juz look at her lips....ish ish buruk nah...LOLz

Close up of dani!!

me and 1 of da twin...getting fatter...masyaAllah...hehe

on the 2nd of feb i spent my day with Sedah @ cozway pt...hehe...Talk abt lotsa stuff...mish her a lot...she still the same....and she is the only person in this world who know i dun like to eat rice....wah! so observant huh...hehe....we jus sit and talk at civic ctr Mac.....and we do snap some photo *wink*


the picture card we took...i loike it so much!!

Best fren ever

And finally the Pink LadeE.....huahah

Thats how i spent my public holiday.....i love every minute of it....
For more picture click here

Bored, Bored, Bored!! I am dying of boredom...everyday is like the same routine for me...work, school, sleep.....haiz.....when u want to go out with yr girl frens for a cup of coffee or maybe shopping u feel that they are drifting away from you every single day.....u feel that u are no longer close as b 4.....do u feel the same way like i did? ....As u grow older u will tend to lose some of yr frens along the way....sad to say it really true....but even if they forget abt me.....i will never forget them and cherish every moment spend together when we were in school.....for now i am on good terms back with Sedah my long time best fren......i still regard her as my close fren despite watever happen bet us 3 yrs ago.....I am so sorry for throwing away the friendship that we had built since the age of 7 yrs old jus like dat.....and i regret it so much....I am so selfish as to only think of my own feeling but not yrs.....dat was me 3 yrs ago....BUT i am happy that we are frens again *hugz* Looking forward for our outing...hehehe.....*wink*

I guess i have to delay watching Torque....haiz......cos both baby and me are broke...hehe.....we are so addicted to movies.....we are becoming movie freak!!gosh!! teruk seh.....in other word we are actually making golden village more richer every single day....hahahahaha.....Actually we wanted to watch "so irrisistable" but its RA.....can anyone tell me they see the date of birth by year or month????......want to watch but still not yet 21......hhhmmm.....how eh?....hehe